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This letter from "Satan" to Pat Robertson was printed in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune on Thursday.

"Dear Pat Robertson, I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll. You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract. Best, Satan"

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( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
rockahulababy
Jan. 18th, 2010 03:43 am (UTC)
LOL I like that person's sense of humor.
angelari
Jan. 18th, 2010 03:43 am (UTC)
So if you're going to pick other countries that obviously had a pact with Satan, you're going to have to go with Dubai.
kishiriadgr
Jan. 18th, 2010 05:08 am (UTC)
SNORFLE!
hagazusa
Jan. 18th, 2010 09:30 am (UTC)
Excellent, can I gank?
reginaterrae
Jan. 18th, 2010 12:49 pm (UTC)
oh, MAN. lol
megglesmcgoo
Jan. 18th, 2010 01:00 pm (UTC)
Good work anonymous person!
marphilly
Jan. 18th, 2010 04:17 pm (UTC)
Awesome!
taxlady
Jan. 18th, 2010 04:21 pm (UTC)
Muahaha
brianblackberry
Jan. 18th, 2010 07:16 pm (UTC)
Satan would look like some male fashion model hanging out as the "in club" in Milan, he wouldn't be chillin' in the slums of Haiti. He be too pimp for that.
prushrush
Jan. 18th, 2010 11:32 pm (UTC)
fitfool
Jan. 20th, 2010 05:05 am (UTC)
That made me laugh. Thanks!
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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