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On my way....

I would have blogged yesterday, but my power cord died and I had to buy a new one in Denver.

I've decided I like Colorado. I've only been here twice but in the two airports I've been to everybody is sweet as sugar and massively helpful. The big sky, mountains and snow don't hurt either.

Texas, on the other hand, is FIRED. Most everybody* at DFW was a complete and utter dick, especially the TSA folks, who made me take off my boots. Now, be aware that as of this typing, I haven't had a shower in three days. I smell like a goat. I explained this, but my boots made the archway make noise. They said they knew it was my boots, so please remove them. No, I said, I am coming back from Afghanistan, I'm filthy and besides, does this uniform mean nothing? No, I had to take off my boots. Why? I asked again. Because it sets off the archway. It's just a noise, I said. Then of course the inevitable White Lady With A First Class Ticket told me to just take off my boots. I told her to zip it, but ended up taking off my boots because OH MY GOD THE ARCHWAY IS MAKING NOISE EVEN IF THE TSA SCREWHEADS KNOW IT'S JUST MY BOOTS.

There was also the stupid shuttle bus driver who took me and two other soldiers to the wrong terminal, plus "both you guys get off here" addressed to two male soldiers and a female one does NOT mean "all of you get off here".

We were informed at DFW that we are not allowed to drink until midnight tonight. HAH! Good luck enforcing that one, buckaroos.

If I can get my standby seat on this flight, I'll be in San Diego by 1700.

*I exclude the VFW and USO there, who were very morale-boosting. The VFW fire trucks are out every morning to greet the Freedom Bird with a salvo of water, and I have pictures of that.


( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 30th, 2009 10:01 pm (UTC)
Which archway were they being pissy about? I've walked through that airport multiple times (and I can basically see it from my house) with boots on and they've never cared. Point it out so I can make sure to stomp the hell out of it next time.
Dec. 30th, 2009 10:03 pm (UTC)
United Airlines terminal, metal detection archway therein. Thanks. Rather you stomp the TSA people.
Dec. 30th, 2009 10:12 pm (UTC)
I would but there are far many more of them than there is of me.

I think you'll appreciate this though (it's near the middle but you may get a laugh out of the entire thing)

Dec. 30th, 2009 10:05 pm (UTC)
The TSA needs to be put under the Air Force or the Army to prevent stupid shit like this.
Dec. 31st, 2009 02:07 am (UTC)
Last month, when I went to California for my mother's memorial, they just told everyone to take off their shoes/boots and put them through the X-ray machine. Every, single security place and I went through extra ones so I could go outside and smoke.

They are doing extra security theatre because of that guy that tried to blow up a plane on the way to Detroit.
Dec. 31st, 2009 02:09 pm (UTC)
I know "profiling" makes the ACLU cry, but US Army Soldier home on leave != Nigerian Moron with with Suicide Undies.

A little common sense would be nice.

IMHO, TSA is a jobs program for people too stupid and worthless to function even in other government agencies.

I used to jerk their chain by using my assault bag from OIF I as a carry-on. I used it then to carry explosives during missions. You better believe it made them do backflips when they ran it through the vapor detector.
Dec. 31st, 2009 03:22 pm (UTC)
"The trouble with common sense is that it isn't nearly common enough." Samuel Clemens.

Allowing extra leeway with soldiers isn't profiling. But, they would have to think and I'm not sure I want to count on the thinking ability of those people.
Dec. 31st, 2009 03:53 pm (UTC)
Hiring some employees who aren't self-important morons would be a good first step.

How to jerk the TSA's chain? "So, seriously, how many terrorists have you stepped on after you killed them?"

While in uniform.

Those guys have the world's biggest small-dick syndrome.
Dec. 31st, 2009 05:17 pm (UTC)
I cannot believe that they would have the absolute fucking GALL to treat a soldier returning home like that.

Jan. 1st, 2010 09:18 pm (UTC)
Did you get the big procession of people cheering at the airport? We had some groups come out who know when the planes of Soldiers are coming in and what days and come out especially to greet us. I chatted it up with a Vietnam Vet about the .50 cal and he told me he used to time his with his dog tags! There were even some WWII vets out there to greet us.

So, are you glad to be back in SD?

PS. In World of Warcraft they have a Big Lebowski cameo:

A questgiver named Donny in Howling Fjord gives the quest [70] Out of My Element?. This is a direct reference to the character named Donny (played by Steve Buscemi) in The Big Lebowski. Several times in one of the major scenes, Walter Sobchak (played by John Goodman) tells Donny "You're out of your element!"
There is an NPC named Walt at the Explorers' League Outpost who gives the quest [71] Iron Rune Constructs and You: The Bluff in which he says: "Walt at the Explorers' League Outpost in the Howling Fjord wants you to use the Iron Rune Construct's Bluff ability on Lebronski after you've walked on his rug". This is a clear reference to The Big Lebowski. In the movie, Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski (Lebronski) is visited by 3 thugs. One of them relieves himself on "The Dude's" rug, and several references are made of the rug through-out the movie. Also, after you've completed all the quests Walt has to give, when you open his chat window he says "The Dude over yonder is pretty upset about his rug". Phone's Ringin' Dude!
Jan. 1st, 2010 11:47 pm (UTC)
The Freedom Bird arrives at the same time every day, so yes, the VFW was out there to greet us. I'm glad to be back; as you've probably figured, Afghanistan is pretty harsh and I'm not looking forward to going back.
Jan. 1st, 2010 11:59 pm (UTC)
Enjoy your time off! :)
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )


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