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In other news....

Yesterday morning I had a great run. I mean an awesome run. It was sunny and not too warm, so I had a glass of water, three puffs of ventolin, and off I went.

I did some hills, and that slowed me down mildly but by the time I was running down 30th Street, I was really moving. I am optimistic about taking at least a minute off my official run time and I've decided I'll keep trying to run every other morning.

My weight is still down and staying down, so the way I'm eating is definitely having an effect. I just have to keep remembering to drink more water than I'm doing so far, because that is part of the plan.

I've been thinking more about spirituality, because I'm not happy with the way things are going. My two issues are that A. I find the idea of an omniscient, all-powerful God who "has a plan" and "loves all of us" who lets kids get blown up and starve to death distasteful to say the least. And B. I've always felt that the gods of mythology do exist. I keep reading the Bible hoping that it'll make sense for me the way it does for others, and that it might provide some spiritual food, which it doesn't. Since religion has always been a huge part of my life, I'm sort of at a loss on where to make revisions.


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 2nd, 2011 10:12 pm (UTC)
So don't the gods of mythology let kids get blown up and starve to death? IDGI
May. 2nd, 2011 10:13 pm (UTC)
Yes, but not while claiming to be all-powerful or all-knowing or all-loving.
May. 2nd, 2011 10:59 pm (UTC)
Hmmm...have you considered other paths? If the Bible doesn't feed you, there are many other religions out there.
May. 3rd, 2011 12:53 am (UTC)
Yeah, thanks, I know that.
May. 2nd, 2011 11:28 pm (UTC)
*nods* That's pretty much what caused me to walk away from Christianity. Even though I was brought up in the UCC--which is pretty liberal and tolerant as far as Protestant denominations go--and even though I'm totally down with Jesus' whole "love one another" thing, I just couldn't reconcile the idea of an "all-loving" god who would not just let innocent people suffer, but also punish those who don't believe in them. Mom would make me go to church and Sunday school and confirmation, but I just didn't feel anything. So I totally know the feeling. It wasn't an easy choice, but I had to do what was right for me, not what others expected of me.

Then again...here I am, all these years later, still trying to figure out just what I really believe in. Wicca didn't entirely work for me, so I'm just kind of floating around in paganism without anything to really latch onto.
May. 3rd, 2011 02:07 am (UTC)

I'm questioning (still? again?) Catholicism.

I went into a chapel this weekend for the first time in... awhile. I didn't feel anything, but I still felt at home. (Had to go observe some idiot in the hospital, they took him to a Catholic one)

I need to write about it more in my journal, but I can feel your pain slightly.
May. 3rd, 2011 08:57 am (UTC)
*nods* Lately in my own adventures in religious heresy land I've been increasingly drawn to the Roman pantheon when I had little to no involvement with them in the past (I've always felt drawn to Egyptian and Norse deities before). I think these things just come and find you :)

Despite my main Christianness, I guess I've always seen 'other' gods/goddesses as personifications or archetypes, nice easy to digest chunks of *the* God that are far more easy to comprehend and work with than an all powerful omniscient nebulous/abstract divine entity...
May. 3rd, 2011 12:11 pm (UTC)
Congrats om the weight loss.

May. 3rd, 2011 12:32 pm (UTC)
Do you have this conversation with God? Lay out before [Him] your objections, tell [Him] exactly how you feel (that God pisses you off for allowing that stuff to happen, e.g.), at the same time acknowledging that you're missing what you think God might provide in your life (the spiritual sustenance, or whatever), and then challenge God to show you the answer.

You're not going to think your way into it. You can think your way out of faith, but not into faith. You have to lay yourself open and ask for faith. That's my experience, anyway.
Jun. 1st, 2011 04:35 am (UTC)
That's great that you're seeing good results from your eating and exercising routines. Keeping a big water bottle on my desk lets me keep easy track of how much water I've been drinking that day. If I just refill a glass, I lose count as the day wears on.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )


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