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Low temps and rain

I posted on that other social media site that I wasn't sure if I was depressed or lazy. I've actually been doing quite a lot: I apply for a job every day, have been taking classes, my laundry is done. Steve and I have been going to Mt. Lemmon for hikes.

Thing is, I want to be creative and can't bring myself to do it. I'm not even writing fanfic, much less working on my YA novel, playing music, or learning to sew. I'm forcing myself to write this entry right now.

It's in the 60s and raining right now, which certainly isn't helping.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 30th, 2015 02:05 am (UTC)
Actually, this makes sense to me. Currently without a job, your subconscious has latched on to a scaffolding which must be maintained in order to preserve some semblance of order. So you accomplish THINGS that have a secondary purpose but just can't get in synch with expressing yourself. Isn't it reasonable to expect that your psyche is trying to protect you because whatever you might produce creatively wouldn't satisfy you.

Forgive me because I can't remember, but have you tried mindful meditation, especially when you're out in nature? It's not meant to be a strenuous hike but something you might want to do alone. I still remember the transformational 2-person meditative walk through High Park (N-S and back) on the Winter Solstice of 2002. When we were done, I found I had a newborn appreciation of the stark beauty of bare trees, didn't feel the cold as keenly ... and, even better, had thrown off the SADS that had plagued me since the mid 1980s!!!

Oct. 30th, 2015 04:23 am (UTC)
I'm bigtime into meditation, actually. I don't do it in nature here because our nature is too likely too try to kill you if you're not paying attention.

My meditation is the sort taught by the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh. However tomorrow before the Kabbalistic Shabbat service, there's going to be a 45 minute meditation that incorporates Jewish tradition. I'm quite curious how that will play out.
Oct. 30th, 2015 04:54 am (UTC)
I could have written some of this post myself. It's in the 50s and raining. I have lots to do and no motivation.

It will get better, that I believe, but not tonight anyway.

Hang in there.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


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